Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Minyak wangi Axe effect tiada effect???





Ramai lelaki mengadu, walaupun sudah menggunakan minyak wangi Axe effect namun tak ada pula perempuan yang secara tiba tiba memberikan nombor telefon mereka kepada si pemakai wangi wangian Axe effect !!! Adakah ini bermakna minyak wangi Axe Effect tiada effect??? hahahaa

Bintang sinetron jelita Indonesia berdarah Belanda dan Inggeris, Asmirandah Zantman (gambar atas) adalah seorang daripada pelakon yang menjayakan iklan itu.




Dalam iklan terbabit, watak dimainkan Asmirandah kelihatan terus terpikat kepada seorang lelaki yang menggunakan minyak wangi Axe lalu Asmirandah menggoda lelaki itu dan memberikan nombor telefonnya dalam makanan sosej yang dipesan lelaki itu.

Namun dalam dunia nyata, memang mustahil ada gadis dan wanita yang terpikat dengan begitu mudah, hanya kerana wangian yang dipakai Sang Lelaki, kecuali gadis itu kena penangan minyak senyonyong effect atau minyak guna guna atau dikenali sebagai "Pugai" di Sabah yang dihasilkan menerusi ilmu mistik!!!


Ini pula sebuah lagi iklan minyak wangi itu menunjukkan seorang gadis ayu memandu kereta sports dan secara tiba tiba naik ghairah dan membeikan nombor telefonnya kepada seorang lelaki yang memakai wangian serba harum itu. Hahaha.. Tidak mungkin berlaku di bumi nyata, disaman polis Trafik adalah.!

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Italian jokes







An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 Months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Drugstore and buys a pregnancy test.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says," Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them.

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest we do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."

Friday, April 16, 2010

Priest punches mourner!!!!



Priest punches who??? did what????

This shocking incident happened in Toulouse, France, on Thursday, 1 April 2010.

The priest not only turned up drunk to preside over a funeral, but also punched one of the mourners!!!!

The incident prompted a French Catholic bishop to apologise.

'Father Bonaventure (Ouedraogo) ... arrived at the funeral in a state that was not compatible with his ministry,' said archbishop Robert Le Gall in a statement. 'I again offer my apologies to the family.'

Relatives of the deceased described how they told the priest, who is from the west African state Burkina Faso, that they did not want him to preside over the funeral held on Tuesday near the south-western city of Toulouse.

They then prevented him from getting back into his car because he was too drunk to drive, said Gerard Tillier, the brother of the deceased woman.

The priest fell to the ground and when a man tried to help him to his feet, he punched him in the face, said Mr Tillier.

'A priest who hits his parishioners, that's a new one, and who turns up drunk, let's not even talk about it!' he said.

Source - AFP

Monday, April 5, 2010

Funny advertisement for snake oil traditional medicine



This was found at one of the Pasar Tamu (weekly market) in Sabah. The exact location is unknown.

This is an advertisement for a traditional medicine - snake oil that supposedly can cure all kinds of ilnesses such as mati pucuk (male infertility), rheumatism (sakit tulang), sex related illnesses, gout, dog bites, asthma, itchiness as well as magically enabling paralysed people, to walk again.

But judging from the numerous spelling errors - one wonder wether this medicine, cures you or kills you straight away!!!

I bet this guy scored 0.00 % in bahasa Malaysia exam either at primary school or secondary school.

Spelling errors include :

1. Hanjing - supposed to be anjing (dog)
2. mati putcuk - mati pucuk (male infertile)
3. kenna ratsun - kena racun - poisoning
4. gatar gatar - gatal gatal (itchiness)
5. lumpu - lumpuh - paralyse
6. parampuan habis baranak - perempuan baru bersalin - mother who newly gave birth
7. gigitan hanjing - gigitan anjing - dog bites
8. hampus - nasib baik bukan mampus!!! - ampus - lelah - asthma
9. lukak - luka - wound
10. tapatuk ular - dipatuk ular - snake bites
11. muta bira - i have no idea the meaning of this - possibly mata biru kena tumbuk (blue eye as a result of being punched!!!)

What rubbish!!! Try calling the phone number and see what the hell is actually being sold!!!
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